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*denotes host/symbiote internal communication


 

July 10th, 1998

Sam slowly woke up. She could neither remember where she was, nor what had happened.

Her head felt strangely heavy, as if she had been drugged, perhaps. Opening her eyes, she found she was in a fairly dark room. She could only barely make out the walls, but it seemed to be a small room. The only light in there came from the various machines nearby. Turning her head, she spotted several monitors, displaying her heartbeat, and other medical readings.

She tried to move her arms, and found they were bound. Fastened with cuffs to chains. The same was the case for her legs. What was going on?

It was obvious she was in a hospital bed, but she could not remember how she had ended up there... and why was she tied up? It did not make any sense!

Her mind still felt like clay, making it hard to think, but she slowly started to remember. She had been in one of the holding cells at the base... Why had she been there? She also had the memory of pain, intense pain - of someone attacking her... while in the cell?

Suddenly, she remembered! The ashrak! He had tried to kill her! Jolinar! She was a host! That was why she was tied up!

She felt a presence inside her head... Jolinar!

*Yes...* The symbiote sounded as groggy as Sam felt, *I am... sorry for all of this.*

"Sorry!" Sam exclaimed loudly. "You're sorry! You took me as a host! You threatened Cassie and my team! You..."

*Shhh...* Jolinar insisted. *Quiet! Do not speak out loud! We do not want to call attention to the fact that we are awake. It is better they think we are still unconscious. They drugged us quite heavily last time when they had talked to me.*

*You may not want them to know, but I do. You are the enemy here!* Sam kept the venomous reply internal, despite it all. As much to avoid that Jolinar took back the control he had miraculously allowed Sam to have, as for any other reason.

*I do not believe you want to talk to the people keeping us imprisoned. We are not a your 'Stargate Command'. I awoke briefly some hours ago, and spoke with an unpleasant person who called himself Maybourne. He informed me that I am the prisoner of something called the NID. From what I have seen in your memories - and I do apologize for accessing them without permission, but I needed the information - that is not an enviable position to find oneself in.*

*The NID!* Sam was so angry about that she did not even care to complain about Jolinar reading her memories. *They let the NID take us!*

*Your friends may not have had any choice. I do not know how long we have been unconscious, but our injuries were severe. Not just from the hara'kesh, but you had sustained several bullet wounds to critical areas as well.*

*So we may have been out for a long time,* Sam realized.

*Yes, we very nearly did not survive. If the ashrak had used the hara'kesh on me for much longer, I would not have survived - nor had the strength to heal your injuries.*

*Uh... and thank you for that, I suppose... as long as you still intend to leave me, as you promised.*

Jolinar 'sighed'. *Unfortunately, that will no longer be as easy as I had hoped... not that it was ever going to be easy, but now...*

*What?! I knew I couldn't trust you! Damn Goa'uld!*

*It is not as you think. I have already changed host twice in less than a year, and that should normally not be done more than once every few years. At most. Because of this, I was already weak when the ashrak attacked us. Now? Now it will take months, at least, and even then I will probably need help from Tok'ra healers. Otherwise I will likely kill us both, if I try to leave.*

*Awesome! That's just great! If we're prisoners of the NID, we're not likely to get to your people! Ever! Nor is it likely you'll get much of a chance to regain your full strength - since they'll probably use you for the medical experimentations they've been wanting to do on a symbiote. In fact, we'll probably both end up dead in their hands - and it won't be pleasant!*

*I am aware of that. We should attempt to escape. Can we at least work together for now, Samantha? You and I obviously have a common enemy.*

*You're a Goa'uld! We have nothing in common!* Sam insisted, hotly. *I will never help you betray my people! Also, can you not call me Samantha? To you I am Captain Carter!*

*I am not asking you to betray anyone. We do have a common enemy. More than one - but right now we should focus on the more immediately problem!*

*The NID... yes, I will concede to that, but that doesn't mean I want you to run loose on Earth!*

*Stop being so small-minded! *Try to see further than my species! Yes, I am a symbiote, and biologically I am Goa'uld, but we are not all the same! I am Tok'ra! We fight the Goa'uld just like you do! We have done so since Egeria started the Tok'ra, 2000 years ago! Now tell me we cannot find common ground, Tau'ri!*

Sam was quiet for a while, thinking about what he had said. *All right. I suppose we do have a common enemy. We'll work together to get away from the NID, and then we'll figure out what to do after that.*

*Agreed... and one more thing - I am female, not male.*


July 17th, 1998

*You know, it's your fault we're in here, being interrogated by that fool Maybourne and his people. If you had just been a bit more upfront with it all - immediately. Then we'd never even have been imprisoned by the NIDD - never been attacked by the ashrak,* Sam complained.

Maybourne and two others had just left them, after asking them question after question for hours. Questions that Jolinar refused to answer.

*And your people would have believed me?* Jolinar snorted. *Me? A snake - that is how you all see me. A Goa'uld.* She sighed. *I cannot truly blame you - that is all you have ever seen my kind as. We... the Tok'ra... we are... an aberration.*

*Yeah... how come you are different?* Sam suddenly wondered. *I mean... you're talking to me, and you're not, well, punishing me for my insolence, or whatever. That means you're clearly not like the other Goa'uld, even if I'm not sure how much of the rest of your story I believe.*

*It is a long story - and if we live, I shall tell you, Captain Carter. For now, it is enough for you to know that we exist. We are the Goa'uld resistance. Most of us are born Tok'ra - by the great queen Egeria, who founded our rebellion. All queens can control the genetic memory of their offspring to a great degree, and she imparted on them her beliefs and ideas... share the body with the host; only take willing hosts - and fight the Goa'uld System Lords... change the Goa'uld society. We fight slavery and oppression.*

*Wow! That's... that's impressive! Not that you always follow that philosophy completely, though...* Sam remarked. *I mean, it's not like I offered to become your host...*

Jolinar sighed. *No... and believe me, I am not proud of that. My fellow Tok'ra will be shocked and angry - and I will most likely be punished. I have broken our highest law.*

*I guess it can be hard living up to your own ideals.*

*I have no excuse. The others may even see it as a sign I am less... Tok'ra than they are... given my past.*

*Your past?* Sam asked.

*Captain Carter... I was not born a Tok'ra. I was one of the few who were Goa'uld and became Tok'ra. I was a System Lord, even.*

*I... see...* Sam sounded shocked.

*Now I have lost what little faith you had in me,* Jolinar remarked, disconsolate.

*No... no. I guess, that's what I thought you all were. Former Goa'uld, I mean. Or... I don't really know what I thought.* Sam was quiet for a long time. *No, if anything, it's all the more impressive that you have been able to change on your own accord.*

*Thank you.*

Sam sighed. *One more thing... Jolinar, the whole 'Captain Carter' thing is getting tiresome. I know I told you to use it, but why don't you call me 'Sam' instead?*



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