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Fanfic, Junior's Diary, PG/PG-13, 5/24

5.

2nd cycle, 253rd day, Anhur era. (Aug 14 1998)

My illustrious father, Apophis, had come up with a nice and ingenious plan to capture my Jaffa Teal'c. I believe he has this desire as much because he misses me and wants me to come home, as to punish the shol'vah.

Since I expected this would culminate in me returning home to my father in triumph, I agreed to the mission.

I had no doubt that I would be welcomed warmly, and probably be offered to take the place of that incompetent upstart Klorel!

My Jaffa's master, the deceitful traitor Bra'tac, took us to my Jaffa's mate. It turns out she has betrayed him and chosen another, more powerful mate. Very sensible of her, particularly since Teal'c had just left her with little consideration and no warning - not even a word, actually - when he betrayed his god. Not surprising, of course. If you are able to betray even your god, I cannot imagine there is anyone you would not betray.

Which means I had better be careful. I realize I am a better god than Apophis, but perhaps even I cannot trust Teal'c! How careless of the Tau'ri, to include him on their frontline team, but that is no doubt because he has the honour of carrying me!

I must admit I spent much of this mission giggling. Teal'c was sulking the whole time, and that made me smile! He got his just punishment for betraying his god!

My underling, 'O'Neill', took it upon himself to kill Teal'c's 'friend' Fro'tac, when he went to report the criminals to Apophis. How dare he! The only reason I refrain from punishing him is that I suddenly realized Apophis had another plan. A most cunning plan.

Rya'c had been implanted with a tooth with an infectious disease, and his mind had been warped so that he would break the tooth upon arrival on the Tau'ri - thus killing everyone at Stargate Command and leaving it open to its rightful owner!

Impressive, because I am convinced Apophis did that so that I could be the survivor and take control!

Unfortunately, Teal'c's unfaithful wife made up for her other failings by being observant and they discovered the danger before anything could be activated.

Doctor Fraiser - another good contender as host for my queen, just like my servant 'Carter' - used her skills and determined it was extremely virulent, and now I cannot help but wonder...

Could it have harmed me? And even if it did not, would it kill Teal'c even with my help? And would I then have had time to take a host before my Jaffa or the future host had died?

It is... worrisome. Could my father really have been so careless as to risk my life?

Worrisome indeed!


2nd cycle, 295th day, Anhur era. (Sep 25 1998)

I do not know how to even begin this entry! In addition, I am tired. Tired! I should not be forced to work so hard that I get tired! I am a god! Also, I am a little child!

Either way, there is no reason in this at all!

Sigh.

Well, I had better start from the beginning. My team - miscreants all - took me to explore a world, as the so often insist on doing. Normally this is quite harmless, and sometimes even useful.

Upon arriving they found this world was apparently empty of all life, with no obvious hint to what killed said life.

This should have been enough to tell them it was time to return. Immediately. Whatever kills off everything like that, and leaves the infrastructure standing, is obviously not something you want to meet.

Still, the fools went exploring! It was not long before the sole lifeforms of that world arrived - creepy giant flying insects. My teammates did not flee - what beings with an ounce of self-preservation would not flee from that? My Jaffa was particularly slow and oblivious, and one of the monstrosities stung him. It seemed to hurt, so that was something, I guess! Hah!

A large swarm of the disgusting insects appeared, and finally the slow idiots started running. They can move fairly fast when they want to!

We made it through the chaapa'ai, but I could already feel the poison working on my Jaffa. Worse, it was working on me! Even worse - nothing I did seemed to help and I could cure neither him nor me!

The best I could do was keep the disease at bay for a while. It was made so as to change the code of life from whatever lifeform it was injected in, into those terrible flying monsters! Their way of reproducing, no doubt. A most disgusting way, I might add!

It should be illegal. They should all be killed. In addition, if anyone has made them as a weapon - as was hinted by the humans of my team - then that should be deemed a warcrime and the guilty party should be tortured to death. At least ten thousand times!

But I have strayed from the events. While I was still fighting heroically for my life and that of my Jaffa, we were abducted by the gonach ha'taka from NID! They shall suffer a thousand deaths when I have my deserved place in the Galaxy!

Of course, the minions of the accursed Maybourne were no match for my Jaffa and I, even in our weakened states. After dispatching them we could escape. Teal'c then showed an unexpected intelligence and respect by removing me from his pouch so I would no longer have to fight the poison that was rewriting his code of life.

Unfortunately, his mind was too confused, and he did not think to place me in a tank of water or another place that could sustain me until I was rescued. It was pure luck my other team mates found me in time!

Doctor Fraiser then spent a long time fumbling with the environmental controls of my tank, not realizing even the most basic requirements I have! I am deeply disappointed! I would no doubt have died, had it not been for a late realization from Carter. No doubt the left-over remnants from the Tok'ra heretic helped her. Even a Tok'ra is more knowledgable than a human, of course.

Still, it was embarrassing!

They found a way to cure my Jaffa - or more correctly, a way to help me cure him. They admitted it themselves - they could not do it without me! Yes, they admitted it! It is so good to hear - those rare times when the insolent humans acknowledge the truth!

So, being my usual magnanimous self, I used my awesome powers and cured Teal'c, even if I would really have preferred to rest some more after the deplorable living conditions they had offered me.

I am really much too good for them!


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