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Fanfic, Junior's Diary, PG/PG-13, 4/24


2nd cycle, 239th day, Anhur era. (July 31 1998)

I am still shocked by the events of our most recent mission.

Cimmeria? My Jaffa took me to one of the Asgard protected planets? Is he in insane? Does he not know what the hammer devices do?

I would not care if he just got himself in trouble, that would be what he deserved for his many transgressions, but no, as things regrettably are at the moment, I would be punished as well!

Fortunately, the device was destroyed, apparently by SG-1 at an earlier date. Sensible of them, but why did they not inform me? I mean, I may have taken a brief, and completely deserved nap during the pre-mission meeting, but they could have taken the trouble informing me of something as important as this! But no, they let a little child suffer in fear of pain, torture, and death!

They are bad people!

It turned out the ha'taka Heru'ur had decided to take advantage of the opening created by my underlings. I blame them for the error of not informing me, so I could have taken control of the world when the opportunity presented itself! Instead, they allowed an enemy to go there first!

Of course, I was not going to let Heru'ur keep one of the Asgard protected planets!

The one designated as 'O'Neill' went with my Jaffa and one of the local fools to check out the progress on Heru'ur's building project. He had almost completed three landing platforms, so it was high time to do something to stop him from landing his ships and troops. If not, it would have been too much for my team and I would have had to use my awesome powers to stop him, and would you really demand that of a little child?

The human servant 'O'Neill' realized, fortunately, and attempted to come up with a plan that was worthy of me. I am, of course, flattered that his devotion to me, his god, is so great. I had not expected it, as he fancies himself the leader of our team. Right! A human leader? On a team that also has a Jaffa, and a god? Hah! Fool!

Of course, the mission then proceeded much like any other, and it did not take long before my Jaffa and his 'leader' walked right into danger. I do not understand how they can be so stupid! Every time! Do they really not understand they are endangering me, as well?

Since my underlings did not seem up to fighting off even this small force of Heru'ur's, I debated whether I should just handle the problem myself. However, I decided that it was too much bother, and that I could just as well let the Asgard know about Heru'ur's presence so they could handle it. I mean, what good is an agreement if you cannot rely on the other party to take care of some things?

My two other underlings, the geeky ones, obeyed me well this time and contacted the Asgard as they were supposed to. I must remember to reward them when I receive my rightful place in a Galaxy-spanning empire.

I wonder if they would enjoy being my lo'tars? It would be a great honour for them. I consider naming both of them as lo'tar. Yes, I realize that is unusual, but someone as important, amazing, and fantastic as I am cannot be expected to make do with just one lo'tar!

The Asgard at least reacted swiftly and appeared in one of their ships to take care of the menace that is Heru'ur. Unfortunately, he escaped, but I can always hunt him down some other time. It is no rush.

We then talked to the Asgard who insisted on repairing the Hammer device. After some deliberation, I agreed to let them do so. It will protect the planet for me until I have the time to rule it properly, and I was promised that I could go here unharmed from now on. That was a requirement, of course. They would even let my Jaffa accompany me, and I think that is a sweet thought.

So all in all the mission went well.

2nd cycle, 246th day, Anhur era. (Aug 7 1998)

Today we went to a world that seemed devoid of life. There was not even air, so I do not know why my team even insisted on going. I only permitted it in the hopes there would be advanced technology, since it might be useful for my future conquests.

They did not find anything interesting, but decided - against my advice of course - to bring back a strange orb they had taken an interest in.

It fairly quickly became painfully obvious to them they should have listened to me when the orb started to behave ominously. My Jaffa fortunately obeyed me for once, and carried the orb swiftly to the chaapa'ai in order to send it back.

Of course, 'O'Neill' - as you will remember, he is the servant who is suffering from the erroneous assumptions he is the leader of SG-1 - got punished by the orb. Presumably his transgressions had become known even on the otherwise dead planet it came from.

It impaled his shoulder and then started to infect him - and the base - with a dangerous organism.

We were now all in danger, including me! Why do they insist on endangering their god?

Many of the others became sick, as the organism caused a fever in them. I was immune, of course, and I protected my Jaffa as well as I am always so selfless!

My Jaffa attempted humour to help the human O'Neill, but I cannot say he understood the concept well. Jaffa never do! They have the worst sense of humour! I almost felt sorry for O'Neill, but then he insisted on using that accursed name for me. Junior! How insulting!

He can burn for all I know! Fortunately, he suffered some more before I allowed the problem to be solved.


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