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Fanfic, Junior's Diary. PG/PG-13, 14/24


3rd cycle, 200th day, Anhur era. (July 2 1999)

A few days ago, Stargate Command was again visited by one of the accursed Tok'ra.

The Tau'ri continue to welcome them, without showing any signs of suspicion. They are fools. Do they not know that all Goa'uld will take advantage of everyone around them to achieve their goal - or at least that is how it should be. Anything else would be stupid!

It does, however, seem like the Tok'ra are stupid in this manner as well. They show no signs of wanting to deceive the Tau'ri, and I am beginning to get the horrible feeling that they are actually trustworthy allies for the humans. That they really, truly, want to fight to help the humans of the Galaxy.

What is wrong with these people?

Anyway, the Tok'ra that arrived this time was the one that has my underling Carter's father as host. The Tok'ra had done a census of the more important Goa'uld, what they knew about them, and such.

They had not included me! Such insolence!

At least they came to offer this information, which I can absolutely use, of course.

They had determined that the Goa'uld Seth was probably still on the world of the Tau'ri, and they wanted to capture him.

Now that made sense. Wanting to capture him, I mean. Seth tried to overthrow Ra and there has long been a great bounty waiting for the one that delivers him - dead or alive.

My personal opinion is that Seth is a wimp. He has spent several millennia hiding on this world, afraid of the other Goa'uld, and clearly not doing much to further his empire! But all right, if the Tok'ra think they can find him, then let them try. I guess we will help them - but only because I expect to be the one to earn the prize on Seth's head!

Since Seth did not even have a sarcophagus, he would have had to change hosts every 400-500 years, so we did not have much to go on. He could look like anyone! The world of the Tau'ri has more than six billion humans! Why have they been allowed to breed in such numbers? It is a disgrace, no, an abomination!

I assigned my underling Daniel to the task of weeding out Seth. He is good at tedious, mind-numbing work. I shall refrain from pointing out the obvious reason that type of work is so well suited to him...

My Jaffa - and myself, of course - helped Daniel, and so we soon found Seth. It turned out Seth was even weaker and more pitiful than I had believed. Not only did he not rule the planet, he had not even succeeded in conquering one tiny little country (as the Tau'ri call the regions they divide their world in).


Seth was only the leader of a small 'cult'! Hahaha! Loser!

I did not even think there would be any need for my expertise on that mission. After receiving my excellent guidance for more than a year and a half, my underlings would be able to handle this, in cooperation with the Tok'ra.

We travelled to the location where Seth was hiding, and after some minor trouble (mostly caused by the stupid Tau'ri and Tok'ra forgetting that a symbiote can sense Carter was previously a host), we killed Seth.

Yes, it was unfortunately necessary to kill him. I decided he was just too much trouble, and since Carter was angry at Seth for harming her father-Tok'ra, I permitted her to kill Seth. With a kara'kesh.

Now, usually I would say that was heresy - to allow a mere human to use a weapon meant to be used only by gods - but she was host to Jolinar, and besides, she did it on my order, so it can be seen as really being me who killed Seth.

After all my hard work I expected to be thoroughly rewarded - among other things I expected that I would be given Seth's corpse.

That did not happen! The Tau'ri kept it! No doubt they gave it to the evil, treasonous NID people!

I am deeply offended, and I am not sure I will help them again! At least not any time soon!

3rd cycle, 207th day, Anhur era. (July 9 1999)

The Tok'ra Selmak stayed for several days after Seth was killed, and I was beginning to fear the Tok'ra was setting up a permanent position here. Fortunately, that was not the case.

The first Tok'ra-free day on the base was celebrated with my underling Carter being promoted. Her father-Tok'ra had wanted to be there, but apparently the Tok'ra Council had other plans. Hah!

To be honest, I care little about the various human ranks. No human can truly achieve a higher rank than lo'tar, so all the other little distinctions they come up with are merely make-believe. If it makes them happy, then why not permit it? Let them have fun.


So, they changed Carter's rank from 'Captain' to 'Major'. *Shrugs* Who cares.

This was followed by lots of boring speeches.

At the very end of the ceremony, O'Neill was going to make what would no doubt have been a horribly boring speech, but then he was teleported out of the room by what was obviously an Asgard teleportation beam.

Now that I do care about! Not only were we saved from the speech, but the Asgard have some interesting technology that I would like to get my hands on. It would make my plans for my empire so much easier to carry through.

Not that I really need it, of course. Not with my awesome powers. It would just be... less bothersome.

Of course, the thought crossed my mind that maybe the Asgard had just decided O'Neill was a good subject for those, ah, experiments they like to do on other lifeforms.

That was not the (only) reason, though. It turned out the System Lords were getting tired of the obstinance of the Tau'ri - and rightfully so, I might add - and killing Hathor was the last straw.

I do see where they are coming from, but I have it all under control. I am using the Tau'ri to remove some of the competition from the Galaxy, and I even got the Tok'ra doing my work for me too. So, naturally, I was less than pleased that the other System Lords had agreed to cooperate with each other and remove my useful (albeit unwilling) tools.

By the way, the Asgard again admitted their lack of ships and resources available - I wonder if they even have any ships? Or is the enemy they fight in their home galaxy truly that formidable? In any case, the result was the same; the Asgard could not send any ships to help.

That left me, alone, to fight all the System Lords. Again. Why must I always do everything myself?

When I complained, the Asgard offered to help negotiate the entry of the world of the Tau'ri into the Protected Planets treaty.

I must admit I was unsure if this was a good idea or not. Mainly because I was given so little information. Would there be one of the deadly Hammer-devices installed, for instance?

On the other hand, having my world be a member of the Protected Planets would mean I would not have to worry about defending it until I had my fleet ready.

A very attractive thought!

So, I decided to let the negotiations begin. I could always call an end to them if they did not turn out as I wanted them to. After all, if the System Lords decided to punish this world I could just take my Jaffa and a few selected underlings and go to another world. It might set my plans back a little, but with my awesomeness it would not be too much.

Carter supported me - by saying that the Tok'ra trust the Asgard! I do not know what to think of this! Does it mean the Tok'ra are friends with the Asgard? Could that truly be so? What a horrible thought!

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