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Fanfic, Junior's Diary, PG/PG-13, 17/24


3rd cycle, 235th day, Anhur era. (Aug 6 1999)

I guess it was inevitable, but we ran into the Tok'ra again! Not only that, but my team were ready to sacrifice themselves for the heretic! Even my Jaffa!

Yes, I realize how completely insane and unbelievable that sounds, but it is true! This is what happened!

My team had sent one of their flying unmanned spies - UAVs, as they call them. It was shot down, by what they presumed was a Goa'uld.

Did this stop them from blissfully wandering out on the planet? No.

Did they bring extra forces? No.

Did they risk my life with their foolish misplaced bravery? Yes. That is exactly what they did!

We had not been long on that planet before my hapless team walked headfirst into a trap!

We were captured by a bounty hunter calling himself Aris Boch, who told us he thinks of himself as the greatest hunter in the Galaxy!

It would be laughable if it was not such an insolence! It is obvious he cannot be the greatest hunter in the Galaxy since he is not a Goa'uld! Hah! Any ashrak could beat him with their eyes closed and one hand (and fin) tied on their back!

He claimed he knew of my team, and I am flattered, of course - even though he did not mention me. Why not, I question myself. Is it because my team has been taking the credit alone? Or perhaps because this Aris Boch fellow is not so up to date with the information as he likes to think?

He did not like that none of us had heard of him! Hah! Arrogant fool! How can someone be so arrogant when they have nothing to be arrogant about? Only gods have that right!

I learned something laughable, by the way. My Jaffa seemed to think (well, seems to think, as I did not dissuade him from his erroneous idea) that a teltac can only travel at twice the speed of light! Not that I am surprised - he is often completely clueless about Goa'uld technology. I do not know why the rest of my team - and my servants back at Stargate Command - even listen to him. They do, though, constantly. Despite the fact that he gets proven wrong again and again. I would think 'Carter' at least knew better. She has been host to a Tok'ra! Even they should know these things!

Did none of my servants listen when Jolinar pointed out that Teal'c is just a Jaffa? They all heard it at the debriefing, and Teal'c even admitted it.

Fools, all of them!

So we were trapped. I considered using my awesome powers to get us out of there, but then Aris Boch asked my team for help in capturing a renegade Goa'uld. I found that too interesting to pass up, and decided to wait a little while.

Apparently this 'Kel'tar' - the Goa'uld Aris Boch was hunting - had a price on this head after Sokar discovered him plotting against him.

Now, Sokar is dangerous and uncivilized, but he is no fool. Plotting against him is brave, possibly stupid. So, should I side with Sokar or with this unknown Kel'tar?

That was an easy question. Sokar is powerful and he could give me much, whereas Kel'tar would no doubt soon be captured and on his way to everlasting pain on Netu.

I told my team to agree to Aris Boch's suggestion. For once, they obeyed immediately and I did not have to punish them. I have a whole book with their transgressions, and when I become a powerful System Lord they are so going to regret their many failings!

It soon turned out my team had decided to betray Aris Boch. Do they not understand that they also betray me when they do something like that? When I had ordered them to cooperate!

The situation only became worse, because they then tried to commandeer the teltac, and ended up arming a bomb!

bomb! How stupid can you be!

Fortunately, Aris Boch returned and disabled it, or I would have had to use my powers to stop it. That would have been embarrassing for my team, and it would also have earned them yet another mark in my little black book.

My team again set out to help Aris Boch, and by now he unsurprisingly did not trust them. He kept 'Carter' as a hostage, and would send her to Sokar if my team did not do as he wanted.

While I do not care what happens to 'Carter', I do care a great deal about others interfering in my personal business. No one but I may punish my servants! I am the only one who would be permitted to send her to Sokar - and presumably on to Netu.

It was obvious this bounty hunter was a blasphemer, and I should warn all other Goa'uld that he was not to be trusted!

I should probably mention this; Aris Boch belongs to a species who cannot be taken as hosts. I do not know why the Goa'uld have not exterminated them all! I will do so as soon as I get my army.

We captured Kel'tar, by the way. Of course we did, as was with my Jaffa, 'O'Neill', and 'Daniel'. We first had to disarm the Tacunitagaminitarons Kel'tar had set up - and which were too much for Aris Boch to handle, of course. Hah! Weak fool!

That was when we got a surprise. The Goa'uld was no normal Goa'uld - he was a Tok'ra. Kel'tar was a cover, and he knew SG-1, of course. No doubt the Tok'ra have shared images of my team with all their operatives, which is more than a little disconcerting.

really hope that does not mean the Goa'uld System Lords think am friends of the Tok'ra, because the Tok'ra certainly seem to believe my team members are their friends.

What a horrible thought! To everyone that reads this, I want to make it very clear that I am not friends of the Tok'ra, even if my Jaffa and my other team members seems to be.

Which is embarrassing in itself. Why is this happening to me? How do I deserve this?

My team talked to the Tok'ra and learned his name was really Korra. His host was speaking! I guess that means it may be the host's name, because who knows about these perverts?

We did get some interesting information, though. If nothing else, the Tok'ra have very good intel. I will take as much of that as I can.

Korra also claimed he would rather die than give information about his fellow Tok'ra who are spying on Sokar and other Goa'uld!

I should warn Sokar that there are spies at his court! How can he have been so clumsy as to allow that to happen?

Against my advice, my team insisted on helping the Tok'ra heretic - and they even offered to go in his stead, to be taken as prisoners to Sokar!

Do the fools not understand what happens to Sokar's prisoners? He is one of the most dangerous and ingenious Goa'uld! Do they want to go to Netu?

My Jaffa offered his life and mine in trade for Korra's! What! What! What! This is insane! I will never forgive my Jaffa! Never! He did not even listen to me at all!

I will get him for that! As it turned out, Aris Boch had been converted by the Tok'ra and the Tau'ri, and let us all go. Including the Tok'ra.

That was not something my Jaffa could have expected to happen, so I will punish him for willfully risking my life! He will have many cases of indigestion in the following weeks... no months!

Hah! Revenge! Sweet revenge!

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