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Fanfic, Junior's Diary, PG/PG-13, 18/24


3rd cycle, 242nd day, Anhur era. (Aug 13 1999)

On our most recent mission I again had to save the life of my Jaffa.

We had gone to yet another primitive world, this time subjects of Sokar's. Just like he prefers it, they thought him not to be their god, but their devil. Yes, he is somewhat unusual, but to each their own, I suppose.

Anyway, the locals thought the members of my team were possessed by demons. Demons! How stupid can you be? There are no such thing as demons! Everyone knows that!

It turned out Sokar regularly sent one of his underlings there to get hosts and slaves, and that there also was a local person loyal to Sokar, who kept order through fear. Such an arrangement is quite usual, of course, even though it is rarely a human that is used for such a position. It can be, I suppose, since the wretched creatures readily betrays their own for power and riches.

I found it interesting that Sokar had chosen an underling with an Unas as host. That is incredibly rare. I do feel sorry for the underling - I am sure he would prefer a human host, but an Unas certainly serves Sokar's cause. The locals were convinced the Unas was a demon!


Well, so far so good. However, my team had done something stupid and interfered with the local law. Apparently the population had to pick five offerings each year, which would be collected by the 'demon'.

Host choices, of course.

In any case, the locals had picked a sick young woman as one of the needed five. If she had become a host she would have been cured immediately, and she would have enjoyed the great honour of being the vessel of a god!

My servants decided to interfere. Stupidity!

The local human leader then decided my Jaffa's Apophis mark was a mark of the devil! I am deeply offended!

The locals dared insist on my Jaffa going through a trial to 'determine if he was a witch'. Idiots! Morons! The insolence!

One of the trials consisted of tying my Jaffa up and putting him under water! Do they not understand that he cannot breathe water? As a god, can, of course, and I selflessly worked hard to extract enough oxygen from the water for both myself and my Jaffa. It worked, but only because he had listened to me - for once - and placed himself in a state of deep kel'no'reem.

It was only due to me that my Jaffa lived - but that is always the case, of course. Still, the people on this world shall be punished! They will feel the wrath of this angry god, as soon as I have my fully deserved armies.

Even after my Jaffa was saved and we were back on land, the local leader was completely unreceptive to reason! The other villagers were suitably impressed and scared, of course!

They still decided to sacrifice myself and my entire team to Sokar - or 'Satan', as he chose to call himself there.

The Goa'uld with an Unas host came and took us with him. He did not even acknowledge me! Or introduce himself! I am deeply offended! The height of a lack of manners!

I knew Sokar would be furious if he was delivered a Jaffa when he wanted a human slave - and I was also somewhat uncertain as to how he would react to the fact that Teal'c is the shol'vah. What if he decided to punish him for his transgressions, despite my presence? Sokar can be somewhat erratic.

So, I decided we should leave the place, and as quickly as possible. The others immediately agreed to the cunning plan I had planted in their minds (using my awesome powers) and we escaped. We even killed Sokar's underling, making it easier for me when I return to take this world as my own!

3rd cycle, 249th day, Anhur era. (Aug 20 1999)

On our most recent mission we learned that Apophis had a project to train warriors for infiltration and to better fight the Tau'ri. I must say that was very ingenious!

First my team did not know it was Apophis's training camp, and assumed it was one of their own teams they ran in to. Whom they could just not recognize? That does not sound right, does it?

Then my dense team thought it was soldiers belonging to the NID or some other Tau'ri group. A bit Tau'ri-centric in their views, are they not?

However, in all fairness, I shall admit I was somewhat... befuddled at first too.

Then we were shot with intars, and it all became clear. This was a Goa'uld training camp, and it belonged to Lord Apophis!

I must say I am surprised with his choice of using humans as warriors. Humans are notoriously bad and weak warriors, who do not stand up to much damage. Nor do they heal well or fast. Of course, they breed well, so you can always get more.

They will also work well for infiltrating the Tau'ri, and that is the main reason Apophis chose them in this case, of course.

Innovative and a genius! That is my illustrious father! It is obvious I have inherited that from him!

My Jaffa then said something horribly derogatory! He claimed it is normal for Goa'uld to use humans as cannon fodder in battles - when they were facing defeat.

Defeat! How dare he! Besides, it is not common to use humans as warriors. Jaffa are obviously better, and so it makes sense to use them for battles. Humans, on the other hand, are good in other positions. I mean, they are good slaves, good hosts, good for pleasure of various kinds.

Yes! I look forward to getting my host!

Now, where was I... yes, Apophis's human warriors. They believed my team to be a challenge sent to test them, and I saw no reason to dissuade them. They obviously needed the extra training!

Fortunately, my team did not try to argue with me, as the insolent fools so often do. Apophis's warriors also immediately recognized the superiority of me and my Jaffa, so it was not difficult to get them to do what I wanted.

The warriors we tested were clearly not worthy of Apophis - or me. While they were suitably loyal and self-sacrificing, they were unfortunately also both stupid and unskilled.

At least they knew the Jaffa were their Masters, and that the Goa'uld are the masters of everyone!

After easily defeating these warriors, we brought one of them back as a prisoner. He stupidly thought he would be rewarded with meeting Apophis! How could he think so when he had obviously been shot and had lost?

The Final Challenge is meant to be with real weapons just for this reason! So the weakest of the two groups will be killed, and the strong can go on to honour and life (for a while, at least) in their god's name!

Then something unexpected happened - well, knowing my team and their treasonous, unpredictable ways, I should not have been surprised. They told the warriors of Apophis that their god was dead! A god cannot die!

That did not stop my accursed team members from telling the Apophis warrior just that - and also showing him the recording of Apophis's fake death!

They even used the vocume to show this recording to the rest of the warriors on that world. And they listened! And believed the false message!

Insolent heretics, all of them! I shall return to take my vengeance on them!

As for my treasonous team members? They will pay for this!

For now, my Jaffa will be getting indigestion for a couple of days!

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